AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

I had an amazing night with my Ukrainian friends last night!!! Today, I finally realized the reason why I am in this specific group, what I need to do, and how many days I have left....

I have decided that the reason I was put in this group is for my own personal growth!! I have been secluded to a certain mindset and I needed to escape it!! On Tuesday night at institute, we were learning about Lot and his family. When I read Genesis 19:17, I thought LITERALLY "Escape!!! If you don't get out, your life can never progress into what you want and need it to be!! If you keep looking to the past to define you, you will keep feeling the same way and that would completely waste this entire experience because this was to give you a new start!! You need to see that you are better than you think!!!" That was a great wake up call!!! I love personal revelation!!! It is so amazing!!

This morning, I have received another revelation which has shown unto me the TRUE reason I have been placed here! You know how I am all about first impressions? Well, I have been relying on those too much and have based my entire relationship with people on something as insignificant as that! The scripture is Matthew 6:14- "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, our heavenly Father will forgive you." and this hit a sore spot with me!! I have been so blind and unforgiving and it is time that I just let go and move on with my life!! I have been judging the girls here too harshly and I need to give it up!! I can't believe I have been holding onto this for this long!!! AAAAAHHHH!!!! I am so stupid sometimes!!! I am going to start, with the new me,  to BECOME a new person with new goals and a new personality!!!

I... After realizing these life changing ideas and concepts I realized today that I only have 33 days left in this country... I am becoming so much more than I would have if I would have stayed in America! It slowly gets closer to the day in which I have to say goodbye to this country and the people forever!! I can't believe it!! I just want to stay and leave all at the same time!!!

New Me!!

While I have been here, in Kyiv, I had a lot of time to think... I had a lot of time to look back and peek into the future... I didn't like what I saw, so I decided to change it! It is time for a New Me. This is the name I've given my new project!! I have decided to go full out! I am going to change almost EVERYTHING: my hair, my makeup, my style, my weight, and the way I treat the world. I want this to be a time to grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically! There is no better time to have a fresh start! The time is now to start living my life the way I should have before!! The question is.... where do I start?

I have decided to start by growing spiritually and physically first. I know that once my life is balanced, it will be easier to grow emotionally and mentally. I need to start exercising daily and not giving up! I need to push myself to lose weight and to keep it off! NO MORE BREAD! If I do eat bread, then it will only be a very little bit. NO MORE FAST FOOD!! That does mean Pazata Hata too... LOTS OF WATER! I have not been drinking enough and am getting sick as a result to that. WALK, DON'T RIDE!!! I am going to walk to school instead of paying for a 5 minute ride. GET OFF MY FAT BUTT!!! If I am ever going to lose weight, I need to stop sitting down so much!! I need to keep active and be out there! I need to go see places, wake up early and go explore!! I need to DO something!!!

Spirituallity will not come from just sitting, thinking of what to do. I need to ACT. I need to start reading my scriptures daily, writing in my journal, praying more often, and trying with all my power to do things right!!! I need to get my life on the same track that Heavenly Father wants for me! I may get derailed a couple of times, but as long as I am facing the Lord and keep pushing, I know I will get there!! I have to try!!! I once heard that if you do something for 3 weeks, it becomes a habit! Let's start our goal by going 3 weeks!! Then pushing even further!!!